I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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