Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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