honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
