im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
