Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
