Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
