I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
