Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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