All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
