worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There r osticjed everywhere
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
