community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
