I'm jealous of your bromance
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
