Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
