I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
