i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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