You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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