Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
