4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
