Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
