the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Pants are for mortals
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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