We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
