were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
