me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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