I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
