i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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