My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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