So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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