Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
