I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
