dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
