I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
