Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
