Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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