You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
