I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
