I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
okay pat passed out under dana's car
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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