Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
