Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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