That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
