i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i drank out of a bidet.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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