Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
