Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
