Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
