Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
