so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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