He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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