Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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