apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
