i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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