Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There's always time for handjobs
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
